Margaret Marshall Rhyne

When you become the parent of a special child, your life changes in an instance and you realize it will never be the same.  Having a special child shakes you to the core and makes you question everything about your life--your parents, your upbringing, your religious beliefs, your marriage, your friendships.  Questions become a constant refrain in the background of your life.  Why me?  Why not me?  Did I do something right?  Where did I go wrong?  Is this a privilege or a punishment?  Why do other people get to have "normal" children?  And you always feel different.  You are different.

But being the parent of a special child opens the heart for profound love.  It teaches you grace. 

Remembering Alexis is a must read for any parent who has a child with special needs, for anyone who is involved with people with disabilities, and for anyone who is not living the life they thought they would.  We learn best from each other's stories.

Margaret is so candid in the questions she asks, in her need to hear God say, "Margaret, everything has been perfect, absolutely perfect," that when you read the book, you quickly realize that you have been given the privilege of seeing a life from the inside out and you travel her very personal journey with her.  You walk in the valleys and feel the pain and disappointment.  You embrace the peaks and want them to last forever.  Ultimately, you learn that life offers many gifts, though many are disguised, but not all the answers.

For many, that journey will become a window to your soul, allowing you to ask your own questions, to unravel your own puzzles, and to come to a place of greater peace than you were in before you picked up the book.  For many, Remembering Alexis is a gift wrapped in vellum.

Remembering Alexis - The Story

Apparently normal at birth, in twenty-nine years, Alexis never grew to be larger than a six-year old.  She could never sit, stand, walk, talk or feed herself.  She never played with a toy or knew she had a birthday.  An exception in every way, doctors guessed Alexis' IQ to be less than fifty, and she never had a diagnosis.  Alexis lived her entire life with her mother, Margaret, who strove to define her life beyond the definition of "mother of a special child" while simultaneously caring for Alexis and loving her unconditionally.     

When Alexis dies mysteriously on a cold, January morning, Margaret is expected by family and friends to accept Alexis' death and her own complicated life without answers. Instead, she begins to search for a perspective, desperate to find the peace to accept the loss of the child who had become part of her soul.  Remembering Alexis, Finding Perspective in Love and Loss is a record of Margaret's search for grace. 

In recounting a life of naive expectation and profound disillusionment, of faith lost and regained, and of love recognized and treasured, Margaret asks the questions that few of us have the courage to ask.  In the honesty of her thoughts and her willingness to look beyond standards and stereotypes, she shows a depth of vision and a strength of character that only trials can create.  In celebrating Alexis, she reflects the resiliency of the human spirit and honors the sacredness of each individual's journey, making her's and Alexis' story an everyman story. 

Who is us is living the life we thought we would?  Who of us has found all the answers?